Saturday, April 12, 2014

Having a baby in Thaianmar (Thailand/Myanmar)

It's been a while.  A very long while.  And I've been meaning to write for all that while.  But I haven't.  Because reading other blogs and facestalking is way more important, or fun, or whatever.

Anywho.  I wanted to share the silly, sometimes disturbing, things that Karen, Burmese and Thai people say to do with my child.  By the way, Asher is now 5 months old, a very strong and healthy little boy.

When he was born the first craziness came about in the form of blankets.  Actually, even to this day I have to fight Amon about the blankets.  Wrap him up, keep him warm, ALL THE TIME.  When he was born he was immediately wrapped in a receiving blanket, and then a nice, plush, heavy blanket.  He was barely removed from these wrappings (except for pees and poos) for the next 3 days.  This actually turned quite scary, and was actually pretty detrimental to Asher's health.  He developed severe jaundice, his bili levels were almost too high.  He wasn't eating well, wasn't quite getting the hang of the whole nursing thing, and was sweating, a lot.  By day 3 of life he had stopped peeing and pooping all together and had to be rushed back to the hospital at 2am where doctors threatened to put a feeding tube in him if he did not start eating and peeing.  Luckily we dodged that bullet, but the fact is that had we not wrapped Asher in a thousand blankets, he would have peed out the bili instead of sweating it out, and we could have potentially avoided jaundice.


Luckily that was the most serious effect of the suggestions and we haven't seen any ill effects since then.

So along with blankets, there was water.  Give the (exclusively breastfed) baby water.  Nope.

When he turned a month old the "shave his head" haranguing began.  To this day it is still an issue with the locals that I chose not to shave my kid's head.  He's a baby.  It's not going to happen.

"Shave his eyebrows, then put butterfly pee and tanaka on them so they grow in thicker".  Um, butterfly pee?  Where exactly do I get that?  How...  Oh nevermind, I'm not going to shave my baby's eyebrows anyway.

I told one mother that my milk was drying up.  She said, I'm pretty sure, "shave the baby's head, then shave your breasts, and the milk will come".  Shave my breasts?  How much hair do YOU have on your boobs lady?

NO DIAPERS IN THE DAY!  It's too hot, don't you know.  So instead you put these little shorts on and then they get pee and poo EVERYWHERE.  We've managed to compromise by using cloth diapers.

Cover his chest, always.  Because if you don't, the air can go in and give him cancer.  Or something.

Make him wear a hat, preferably a knit one, whenever he goes outside.  Yes, even in one million degree heat with one million percent humidity.

"If he is sleeping and jumping in his sleep (startle reflex) put a pillow or something heavy over his chest and he won't jump."  This actually is good advice, as Asher has insane reflexes, however, he jumps so much that the pillow inevitably falls off.  And then he ends up on his tummy, always.

Speaking of tummy, I am so not allowed to do tummy time.  It will make his chest flat.  Why are the poor kid's nipples so far apart?  Because I did tummy time.  Duh.

"Exercise the baby's legs, hold them straight for 5 minutes twice a day so they don't stay curved."  Lord knows we can't all be walking bow-legged forever.

Also, it is perfectly acceptable for a stranger to walk up to me and ask me if I am breastfeeding.  In fact, it's pretty much the first question people ask, even before asking if he's a boy or girl, his name, his age... it's "luk gin nom meh?" Does baby drink mother's milk?  Which, I mean, depending on your standpoint with the whole breastfeeding thing, could be good.  I don't tell people he is fed both breastmilk and formula, because I get "the look" if I do.  I am obviously just too selfish not to exclusively breastfeed my child.

In the "cold" season I can't give the baby a bath anytime after 4pm.  It's too cold and he could die.  Pretty much.

Now that Asher is beginning to eat real food, I have gotten a whole bunch of new advice.

Here is how to feed your baby:  Lay him down on your lap, with your legs straight out, and his head in your groin.  Yeah.  Now feed him like that.  Oh, no, don't worry, he won't choke.

To make rice: Boil the rice until it is watery, put it through a towel, scrape off the goo.  You get about 1/2 a teaspoon every 10 minutes, so it's totally worth it.  No, you cannot use a blender because the metal in the blades could come off in the food and then your baby WILL DIE.

He cannot eat anything but rice.

WHY are you giving your child pumpkin!?  What, are those CUCUMBERS!? Are you seriously trying to POISON your child?

********************************************************************************

There are many other things people have "advised" me to do, but for the most part I can agree with some things.  Like co-sleeping.  People are astonished and appalled that Asher has his own bed in his own room.  They see his room and ask, "who sleeps in there?", and when I tell them "that's Asher's room" they are shocked.  I would love to sleep with my baby if a) it weren't so hot b) he actually slept and c) it wasn't so loud in my room.

Another thing I kind of like is the whole going back to your roots, Eastern medicine stuff they use.  Like certain foods I was forbidden to eat after giving birth because they make the body too hot or too cold.  I was only allowed to drink warm water.  I was supposed to stay in bed, covered in tumeric and do nothing for one month.  People looked afraid when I told them I had to go back to work after only 2 months of leave.  "But how will the baby eat?"  "He needs his mother."  And this I agree with wholeheartedly.  Incidentally, I did not go back to work, and am still a stay at home mama.

With all our love from the jungle,

Ani, Amon and Asher