As you might have guessed from the previous posts, life back in Sangklaburi isn't all that exciting. Well, it's exciting for you to read, but for Asher and I it has become mundane, dismal, and even dangerous.
The other day I was at the little shop around the corner and the grandmother who runs it gave Asher a shot of whiskey. Not just whiskey, but Lao Kao, the putrid fermented rice drink that men drink each night to "clean the body". I was standing right there and had my head turned for only a second. Asher spit most of it out, thankfully, but just the fact that someone who barely knows me, or my child, would give him poison without even asking me first? NO. Not OK.
And I find myself doing that on an almost daily basis. My values are continuously being compromised, as a mother, a wife, and a woman. As yet another puff of cigarette smoke goes wafting into my son's lungs from the numerous people who smoke around him I say to myself "it's only a little bit, it won't hurt him too bad". But a little bit? Is that even OK? NO. Not OK.
Asher is sick now (yes, again). He hasn't eaten in five days. He has a fever and a sore throat. The doctor said, after reviewing his latest set of labs, "it's just a virus". FUCKING VIRUS. If I hear that phrase "just a virus" one more time I might lose my shit. He hasn't eaten in FIVE days. No, not even one bite. He is drinking milk, but that's it. I want to go to the hospital, but everyone just says "give him "yaa kiow" and he will be better. He has "ron nai" (hot inside) and he will be better on his own." I say he won't even take water, how am I supposed to give him more medicine? I have to force the Tylenol down as it is... But no, I am the mother, it is my job to hold his mouth open, make him gag, and force it down.
OK, sorry for the rant. That is just to illustrate some of the struggles I have here. Oh I have so many more.
So, for the big news, the big change: Asher and I are moving to Krabi in one week. Krabi is a small-ish town in the South of Thailand. Right on the ocean. It is beautiful and most importantly, modern. There are montessori schools, an international hospital, a Tesco Lotus (think Target, but better), jobs for me, and we even have some friends there. Perfect. I have already put a deposit on a place in Krabi Town, right across the street from the school I hope to get Asher in to. I will be working in Ao Nang, a 20 minute drive from the Town.
I am pretty excited about it all. Pretty scared, because of course, this move is going to happen alone. Amon will not be joining us. It is our hope that he will join eventually, but right now he has decided to stay in Sangkhla. I am not all that thrilled with being a single mom again, nor am I thrilled to be doing so in Thailand, but se la vie. We will wait until Amon gets his visa to come to America and then most likely make another move, depending on how well it goes down south. We do hope to see each other as much as possible, but it is a 14 hour drive by car (which we don't have) a two day bus ride, or a plane ride followed by an 8 hour bus ride. But, we will do our best.
So that's it. The new life change. The big decision. Man, I am getting sick of these.
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