I meant to write this post last week when I was truly feeling grateful for this town, this country, these people... But now I am sort of feeling blah. So I will write to remember, to remind myself how fortunate I am.
People ask me a lot these days why do I stay here? If the goal was to still be with Amon while living in a more modern city, seeing as that didn't work out, why stay? Well, it is a question I ponder often. Especially on nights where Asher is being a two year old and I had a day full of two year old tantrums and it's raining and we're out of milk and so on. But there are reasons that I stay.
The first is Amon. Even though we don't see him daily, we still get to see him more than if we were in the states. He does not yet have a visa (the petition for immigration was approved but still has to go through visa processing which can take another 6-12 months), so he could not come with us and us coming back to visit would be slim to none as I would be a single mom and we all know how that worked out the first time around. I feel like that would ultimately tank our relationship.
The second reason I stay is for Asher. While I make very little money (roughly $700 a month), I can still afford a new two-bedroom apartment within walking distance to town, school, shops and a park in a safe neighborhood. Imagine what that costs in the states? I can also afford to send him to a bilingual Montessori nursery which I KNOW I could not even come close to affording in the US of A. I am also 20 minutes away from pristine, white sand beaches. There are activities of all sorts that cater to tourists that I can join in as well. Because of the huge tourism market there are tons of expats here in the same situation as me, and I can get a whole lot done a whole lot easier than in the states. For example. Renting a car or motorbike? Easy, just pay, leave a copy of your passport and bam, done in 5 minutes.
Thai language is another reason. Asher is half-Thai after all, and I really think it is important for him to gain as much of it as possible. It is a pity that there isn't any Karen spoken here, because actually, Asher is half Karen, but I had to give that up for a better quality of life. I am aware however, that to become fully fluent in a language it take 7-8 years. So that would mean staying here for another 5-6 years. That's not really what I want. Hopefully Amon will get his visa before then and we can all go to the states together and Asher can speak Thai with his father. Hopefully.
The friendliness of Thai people is a huge reason that I stay. The day I was going to write this I was inspired by my motorbike mechanic. As you may or may not know my bike decided to die on me while I was at a busy stoplight the other day. So I pushed the bike to the side of the road, thought for a moment, looked around for a parking spot thinking I would just abandon it till later, when I saw a mechanic, not 20 feet away. So I pushed my bike it, told him what happened, and said I needed to catch a taxi to pick up my son. He said no problem, just come back before six. So anyway, I come back with Asher and they tell me the problem (I had put the wrong kind of gasoline in it) and the cost to fix and then asked me how I was going to get home. I said I would just hail a taxi (by the way, they aren't taxis, they are pick up trucks with benches in the back that go along a specific route. I guess more like a bus?) And the mechanic tried to hail one for me. After about 5 minutes of trying the older mechanic hopped onto his sam-low (three wheeled motorbike) and gave us a ride home. To our door. The next day, after the craziness of trying to get to work and back to the shop, I noticed the mechanic who was working on my bike. The guy is paralyzed from the waist down. His legs lie limp in his rusted out wheelchair. I can see his diaper peeking from his backside. His arms are strong from all the pushing he has to do. Turns out this is his shop. He opened it after he was paralyzed figuring he could still work on bikes from his chair.
I just so admire the tenacity, the strength of character Thai people have. You got dealt a shitty hand in life, deal with it. I donno, but after working in a nursing home in Boulder half filled with alcoholics and drug addicts who were living the lap of luxury and still going out to panhandle every day... I just want to shout at them all, Get a grip! Grow up!
The quality of life seems to be better here, I mean generally and overall. The Buddhists are all about happiness and living in the moment, which is nice, refreshing. They aren't ever so consumed with media and fear mongering and climbing to the top. There are greedy people, but not like America.
Don't get me wrong. Thailand is not the perfect place. It is for some people, mainly those expats that are still earning foreign currency and can afford a nice house, a car, going out to eat, etc. But there are still issues. For one, we are still in a coup. The military is still in the government position and I don't forsee a fair election coming any time soon. You can go to jail for talking bad about the King. It is still very patriarchal. Men are allowed to have many wives, socially, while woman are expected to stay at home and cook and clean. There is trash everywhere! Little pride is taken in people's homes, gardens, parks, schools. They do pride in their cars though. Which is strange. There are a ton of cars here, which makes driving the motorbike extremely dangerous, especially with Asher. And forget about it if it's raining. Thai people drive like it's black ice when it's raining.
Another thing Thailand is hugely lacking is my family. My friends. My people. My culture. And that is huge. But I am still grateful, for the moment, to be living in "paradise".
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